my bright sadness

i’ve wanted to speak, but felt like words failed to come. how do i express hope and sorrow in the same breath. being torn and healed. spinning. Your love is like a rock when i’m spinning… we’ll i’ve been hit from every corner, i’ve been thrown from side to side i’m cracked up on the inside, so i come to You for life Your presence always heals me, so i’ll wanna drink it in You know where we’re going God, and You know where i’ve... Read More

the day dawns

the brilliant sight that greeted me this morning! as the clouds ushered in the arrival of the sun! [Psalm 8] O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth! You have set Your glory above the heavens. from the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise because of Your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. when I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful... Read More

a quote to live by

Last night i lugged my bucket of hot water into a tiny bathroom and proceeded to bathe. this afternoon i made up a system to wash my clothes by hand. i came inside, hot and sweaty and laid on my tile floor to cool off. and as my muscles ached and i found my attitude changing to one of disgruntlement, i remembered this quote: Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living a dream. – Peter... Read More

once more

it’s been a pretty craptastic week or two. i can’t seem to get into rhythm. i’m in this weird limbo/transition period right now, and i don’t like it. God has been revealing a lot of idols in my heart lately. i keep telling Him what i want, and He keeps asking if i trust Him… i don’t really like this dialog. i mean i do, but it’s been difficult. i deeply desire more of Him, and yet i struggle against it. i debating how much to share... Read More

fervently and unceasingly

dear beloved there are those moments of clarity when things come into focus, and you just know. you beg and plead for answers, to just understand… and He responds. how many times do we ask and not listen? how many times have we cried out and assumed Him silent. but in knowing, can we hold unswervingly to the Hope that we have? can we trust Him, completely and entirely… we know Him trustworthy and yet tremble at His response. have you ever been shook to the core,... Read More

the next adventure

so i rarely journal… but i needed to flesh out some things. i’ve been in this crazy place lately. it’s hard to put to words. maybe i’m just bad with words. it seems when i need them the most they fail me. when i’d like to express myself clearly, i’m the least clear. and yet i have these moments of pure brilliance. that sounded pretty prideful, i apologize. but seriously, like God has allowed me to be present to watch him work. and my... Read More

grace and truth

father… i can’t do it! i’m incapable and inadequate. i need you. oh, how i need you. i’m pleading that you grow me in grace, mercy, and compassion. i know truth, i know you are truth and the words you speak are true. but how do i walk in grace and truth. teach me to breath grace! you have me, you know that i love you. give me the wisdom that John possessed. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of... Read More

hopes, prayers, and reflections

marrying a woman of God; a co-laborer, companion, and compliment a woman who’d allow me to serve, love, cherish, nourish, and lead her who loves God with every fiber of her being, and loves people. she sees children as a blessing, and desires to love and disciple them. who mentors other women. whose heart breaks for widows and orphans. who’s always ready to cloth the naked and feed the hungry. who desires a husband to provide and sacrifice for her and her family. whose... Read More

thank you

Why in the world did you come after me? Thank you, thank you Words aren’t enough, but for now I can say Thank you, thank you … I can’t understand a love of this kind “Thank You,” Sanctus Real these words took on new depth in my life recently. father, may i learn to love, as you love me. to know my love is inadequate, and that i can only love from the overflow of your love for me. Love is Patient Love is Kind Love does not Envy Love does not Delight... Read More

our failures

i’ve been re-reading Josh Harris’s book “boy meets girl” today, and God weighted heavy these words on my heart, and tears fell as I read them… “Ladies, despite what you may have experienced at the hands of your earthly father, know that this is the heart of your heavenly Father for you. You were never meant to be unprotected. I’m sorry that many of you have never had a Christian father like this to care for you. I’m sorry that negligence... Read More