THRIV3::{discipline.love.passion}

paul writes to titus to encourage and instruct him as to what must be taught to God’s people.

titus 2:1-8 (4-8)

then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. in everything set them an example by doing what is good. in your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

i find this passage makes me somewhat uneasy. especially the words to us as younger men and women. are we being obedient to God’s word, if these are the qualifiers for Godly men and women.

paul goes on to remind us and titus that this isn’t about earning our salvation, it’s about obedience. we obey because we’re accepted.

titus 3:4-5a

but when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.

further study:
Gen 1:27-28, Gen 2, Proverbs 31, Micah 6:8, Ga 5:22, Eph 4:1-3, Col 3:12, 1 Tim 5:10

i was born to my parents andrew and jeanette tufano on november 13, 1984. i weighted 9lbs and was 22 inches long. i’m not sure if you know much about newborns, but i was huge! i won a candy bar in my biology class 7th grade year for being exceptional in that category! interestingly enough by the time i reached 1st grade, my parents concerns shifted one-eighty. they felt i wasn’t gaining enough weight and was too skinny, so they took me to our family doctor, who promptly informed them that i was perfectly fine and would fill out soon enough. well here i stand at 23, six foot tall and about 170lbs. i guess our doctor was right!

psalm 139:16
your eyes saw my unformed body
all the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be

i was also born with a mark on the left side of my face, essentially a large portion of the left side of my face is a different pigment, or skin color, and since i was born that way, it’s called a birthmark! and let me tell you i’ve met a lot of people in my days, and none yet have one like it.

so your probably wondering why i’m bragging about my awesome birth stats, my toothpick status as a 1st grader, and my unusual facial features. well it’s because i’m weird and so are you!

since i don’t want you to get the wrong impression, i’m not sharing this with you to receive sympathy over the hand i was dealt, or to prove how i’ve overcome life’s obstacles. instead, i believe God fashioned me uniquely in order to serve the purpose for which He created me.

psalm 139:13
for You created my inmost being
You knit me together in my mother’s womb

“okay” you agree, “your weird, but what’s it to me?” well, i believe He created you uniquely as well, or as i’ll affectionately call it, weird!

so my dad and i are almost mirror images, in every way. i share his strengths as well as his weaknesses. we are both analytical, both athletic, same personality, same temperament, same sense of humor, and on i could go. so growing up, my dad wasn’t exactly the most objective person in helping me identify my own weirdness. since we shared the same weirdness, to him it was normal. and although my mom was totally different, she was my mom, and any weirdness just made me that much more endearing. so although she could identify it, she’d never point it out, she wouldn’t see the value in doing so, only the possible hurt it might cause.

it would seem that the type of people that reveal it the most, are the ones who are most different from you. and for me, it was during my high school years that my weirdness seemed most recognizable. it seems like everyone during those years was extremely gifted at pointing out anything that was different about everyone else.

although it was during this time that i was able to recognize my own weirdness, instead of embracing it, i did everything i could to hide it. i thought then that although it was okay to be weird, you didn’t want to go around advertising it. i couldn’t have cared less weather i fit in, but i definitely didn’t want to stand out either. it seemed anything that stood out, was put on display and publicly mocked. at home, i could be weird, because at home weird was acceptable. but out in public, i put on a facade that i thought everyone wanted to see.

as the years passed, i began to realize how extensive this facade had become. the person looking back at me in the mirror and the person people knew didn’t match up. so the person who had classmates, coworkers, and friends, wasn’t me. it was a fake, a facade i’d created. my greatest fear was rejection. my parents rejected each other when they divorced when i was 2. i felt rejected regularly by my father during my childhood; weather to career, self interests, or wives (he’s on number 4). and i felt rejected by my mother when she moved away to bible college. i’d placed my value and worth in their love and acceptance, and they failed me. so to protect myself from further pain, i created this facade. i vowed to never again allow anyone to hurt me as those closest to me had. my facade served its purpose well, it kept people from hurting me, but it had an unintended side affect, it kept people from knowing and loving the real me.

consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
james 1:2-4

but through these trials, God never failed me, instead He used their failures to remind me of my adoption as His son, and Christs sufficient grace. He mercifully revealed that He alone is steadfast and unfailing, and that in Him alone would i find meaning and purpose. In seeing through these lenses, God began destroying the facade i created. He began reconciling the person i saw in the mirror, and the person people knew. It was through this process that God enabled me to embrace my unique wiredness.

but He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 cor 12:9

what once brought shame God now uses to breath life. He used my broken and dysfunctional childhood to give me an understanding of suffering. this understanding allows me to relate and have compassion for the suffering of others. He uses my frame and unusual facial features to allow me to stand out. people seem to remember me, and the words i speak. He uses me as His instrument to speak and convey the truth of His son and the gospel.

1 cor 12:7;11
now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
all these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and He gives them to each one, just as He determines.

but this is just my unique weirdness, the way God has chosen to fashion me. i am but one part of the body, and the body requires all of its parts to function. you are another part, and God has fashioned you uniquely as well. i pray you that you would see through the gospel lenses, and that He would enable you to embrace your unique weirdness.

now the body is not made up of one part but of many. if the foot should say, “because i am not a hand, i do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. and if the ear should say, “because i am not an eye, i do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. if the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? if the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? but in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. if they were all one part, where would the body be? as it is, there are many parts, but one body.
1 cor 12:14-20

hey guys, it’s michelle - you know, the one living as your neighbor to the south. drew asked me if i would start writing on here and i love the idea of this site - hope i can encourage and add to this positively…

where do i even start? God has been teaching me so much throughout these past 7 months it would be impossible to recount them all if you haven’t been following along on my www.xanga.com/psychoshell

Currently I am living with a wonderful Mexican Christian family and their 4 children and I working with Compassion International in a very poor area outside of Mexico City. I am bucket bathing because they are repairing the bathroom in the house, I am learning to cook Mexican food, loving Spanish, learning submission to my directors, and trusting God that He will protect my honor and that my life will testify more than my words. In KVill we say that patience is “waiting without complaining when things get hard” and God is definitely giving me an opportunity to live that out… whether that’s good or bad, I’m still not sure. I had the opportunity to travel all around Guatemala during spring break and meet so many of God’s children and see what He is doing in a new country.

Currently however, I would say that I am learning a lot about the gift of prophecy - unfortunately not really through experience, but through reading. As much as I love the Village I wonder what it would look like if we would have the opportunity to allow the gift of prophecy to flourish - what would that look like? It’s amazing to me how little we really know about this gift and for some reason God hasn’t let me let go of my curiosity of it — and before I had never understood the “desire the greater gifts, esp the gift or prophecy” verse but I can definitely say that now I have this crazy desire for it.

(from my journal, 3/20/08)
Your voice
flattens mountains
rulers tremble before You
but right now I beg to be so near
as to hear Your voice
Say what You will
“peace be still”
or that You know my name
You can whisper in the dark
or open the clouds
but please speak
I will wait
straining with ears open
listening for a voice I’ve never heard
a voice I’ll know right away
If You want it to be a secret
I won’t tell a soul or
I’ll run from village to village shouting
In the silence of the night
or in the clamor of a busy day
let me hear Your voice
Speak, I beg You, speak to me
Is one word too much to ask
from a voice that flattens mountains? -me

Wayne Grudem (author of Systematic Theology) says that prophecy is different now than in the OT but it can be defined as “something that God reveals or suddenly brings to mind” meant to be encouraging and edifying the church. Ever had a moment when you need to pray for someone and then later you find out they were in a lot of trouble at that moment? Prophecy. Ever felt the need to share a Scripture with or call someone randomly, to find out that that’s EXACTLY what they needed? Prophecy. It can also look like visions or specific words for a certain person, even though the one speaking doesn’t understand what it’s about… I have always thought that I had the spiritual gift of encrouagement but now I want more - I want to be so in tune with God and His Spirit that I can speak words to His children, to be an instrument of encouragement that comes directly from Him and in no way comes from me - just take me out of the picture completely.

did you know that with technology the faster you figure out a problem, the quicker you can reach your desired goal? let me give you an example. you desire an informative, user friendly, and visually appealing blog. that’s not a bad desire, but you have some problems: a) you’ve never made a blog before, b) your coding skills are limited, and c) you aren’t a graphic designer. those are some pretty big barriers to accomplishing your desired goal. but although technology may be complicated, it can be broken down and understood, because it’s logical.

so i began applying the wisdom i’d learned through technology to other areas of my life, and the benefits were significant. anytime a new problem would arise, i would spend hours observing, studying, and testing. i began to realize that i was really good at breaking things down, and understanding what made them tick. turns out i’m able to understand complex things and explain them to others, which is a really valuable gift to have if He’s called you to pastor. but therein lies “the rub.” what i mean is that applying the wisdom that everything can be broken down, understood, and fixed is only true when approaching things that are logical, and rational. what about broken things, things innately flawed?

sin entered the world in Genesis 3, beauty ruined. apart from God everyone is broken and flawed; sinful. and even those who love and trust Jesus, still battle the sinful nature, but are bound to righteousness. (rom 7:21-25, rom 6:18)

so then, how do you approach relational problems? how do you fix broken and flawed people?

i’ve spent hours on end observing, studying, and testing. i’ve tried one solution after another. this approach continually leaves me with unmet desires. i desire a wife, a helper, a companion, and a compliment. it would seem a large part of my failures stem from impatience.

Love is patient. [1 Cor 13:1]

impatience is something i’ve battled for a long time. He’s been so merciful in growing me in this regard. but one area i still fiercely battle impatience is female relationships. over the last three years i’ve come to see the depth of my relational ignorance. He’s revealed just how inept i am when it comes to pursing the opposite sex.

how do you handle unmet desires?

i contemplate, reflect, question, worry, and obsess. God has been gracious in bringing a plethora of wisdom into my life via brothers, older men, and scripture. He is continually tilling up mans wisdom, and exposing it to His truth. i’ve come to understand that sin takes root and unwise decisions begin taking place when i worry and obsess. if i trust He is my greatest good, then His plan is better then any i could ever devise.

and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. for those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.
romans 8:28-30

i pray that He would kill in me anything that would prevent me from more of Him, that He would walk with me and before me, and that He would give me eyes to see and ears to hear. i covet your prayers, and ask for your grace, as God grows in me patience.

i’m slowly realizing He hasn’t called me to fix you, but love you and point to His son!
so i plead for you, and beg Him to move… and ask if you would do the same for me.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.
Col 1:15-17

dear beloved

there are those moments of clarity when things come into focus, and you just know.

you beg and plead for answers, to just understand… and He responds.

how many times do we ask and not listen? how many times have we cried out and assumed Him silent.

but in knowing, can we hold unswervingly to the Hope that we have? can we trust Him, completely and entirely…

we know Him trustworthy and yet tremble at His response.

have you ever been shook to the core, to the very fiber that holds you together?

praying fervently and unceasingly:

that you would know a love that surpasses understanding
that in Him you would find breath and life and every good thing
that you would lose your life to gain it

a dim reflection,
yours

the greatest tragedy (part one)

the LORD God said, “it is not good for man to be alone. i will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18

in perfection, it was not good for man to be alone. we find ourselves in a broken and fallen world, but Jesus came to redeem and restore. Scripture is Gods story of redemption. it’s testimony after testimony revealing the character of our Creator. the One who was, who is, and who’ll always be. we find ourselves caught up in His story. He beckons we stare at Him, stare at Jesus. to celebrate and imitate. only in Him will we find breath and life and every good thing.

marriage is a picture. it’s the closet representation we have of Christ and the church, His bride. how did something so beautiful become so perverted and tainted? why does marriage bring about thoughts of heavy bonds and burden? when did it become a second rate pursuit?

our generations greatest tragedy is the destruction of marriage.

for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

the very air we breath is poisoned, and this shouldn’t come as a surprise. we are ambassadors in a foreign land. we battle our sinful nature and the enemy. everything became fractured at the fall, beauty ruined.

so how do we redeem relationships? how do we restore the beauty of marriage?
we have to understand the purpose of marriage. we have to understand Gods intended roles for men and women.

do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.
romans 12:2

we exist to know Him and make Him known. He is our greatest good. the purpose of marriage is to bring glory to God. isn’t it funny how we’ve separated good from God? we constantly battle against believing that God wants to keep us from good. why can’t we have sex with whomever, whenever we want? why must commitment precede our emotional and physical desires? why must men love by sacrificing, and why must women love by submitting? how often we believe that we know better than God… the Creator of the universe! if we say it aloud, it’s comical. but that’s exactly how we live.

we were created for relationship. when Jesus prayed before He was taken to the cross, He desired for us to be one, as He is one with the Father. (John 17:20-22) Jesus is our model for perfect relationship. God the Son (Jesus) submits to God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit submits to the Son. they’re all equally God, but they each have distinct roles in the trinity. so too with us, male and female. we have equal value in the sight of God, both being created in His image, but we have distinct roles. God created us distinctly to serve the body, and these differences were given to bring Him glory.

the destruction of marriage began with the destruction of our distinct roles in relationship; the distinct roles modeled by Jesus, and laid out in scripture.

so what are our distinct roles?

God created man, and then He created women (from man) as a helpmate. He created adam, and then gave eve to adam to help adam attend to the directive God had given him. adams directive was two-fold; to govern and cultivate the earth. (Genesis 2:15) eve was given adams directive, in other words she was given to help adam accomplish his directive, she wasn’t given her own. adam and eve together were given the second directive, be fruitful and multiply. neither adam or eve could accomplish these directives apart from each other. from the beginning in perfection, men and women were compliments to each other with distinct roles. (Genesis 1:28)

Jesus added one more directive after His resurrection; to be His ambassadors. (Matthew 28:16-20)

men are called to be Christs ambassadors, govern and cultivate the earth, and be fruitful and multiply. women are called to be Christs ambassadors and to help/assist a man in accomplishing His directives.

God gives each man a unique task in the overall directive in which to accomplish. women are called to one man to assist/help accomplish this task. at some point we decided we didn’t like the roles God laid out for us, and began defining our roles as we pleased. we display by our words and actions that our ways are better then His. we lose sight of our distinct but equally valuable roles as men and women. lazy and idle men have relinquished their roles as leaders, and cultivators. while women have been deceived into believing that wife and mother are secondary pursuits.

our primary calling as men and women is to be Christs ambassadors, but God has given us, male and female, distinct roles to play in His story.

our primary role as men is to lead, cultivate, and multiply. women your primary role is to help/assist one man to lead, cultivate, and multiply.

for further study: Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

“i celebrate the day” - relient k

and with this Christmas wish is missed
the point i could convey

if only i could find the words to say to let You know how much You’ve touched my life
because here is where You’re finding me, in the exact same place as new year’s eve

and from a lack of my persistency
we’re less than half as close as i want to be

chorus:

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior

and the first breath that left Your lips
did You know that it would change this world forever

bridge:

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

in the hope that what You did
that you were born so i might really live

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

and so this Christmas i’ll compare the things i’ve felt in prior years
to what this midnight made so clear
that You have come to meet me here

and i, i celebrate the day
that You were born to die
so i could one day pray for You to save my life

pray for you to save my life

the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. we have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
Romans 4:25

we are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 Cor 5:20

whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
Matt 10:39

what causes fights and quarrels among you? don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? you want something but don’t get it. you kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. you quarrel and fight. you do not have, because you do not ask God. when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
james 4:1-3

so desire isn’t bad. to desire love, to desire acceptance, to desire value and worth. He wired us this way, we were designed to desire these things. but because we are broken, because we are sinners, we’ve tainted it.

“just as cars were made to run on gas, so we were made to run on Him”
cs lewis

we try to fulfill those desires with creation. when He is enough, He is sufficient. He designed us to be fully satisfied in delighting and enjoying Him forever.

idolatry is desire turned to demand

i understand this intellectually, but how often do i live this way? i begin finding my value and worth in their love and acceptance. an idol is born. i begin expecting encouragement and affirmation. i demand. i begin giving only to receive. i punish. i elevate my desire to need, when my only true need is Christ.

whom have i in heaven but you?
and earth has nothing i desire besides you.
my flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
psalm 73:25-26

may we rejoice that Hope has ransomed us, and that we idolaters are accounted our saviors righteousness.

and may we worship and delight in the One who is worthy, who holds all things together, and who offers life… that is truly life.

how often do we ask Him to use us, and then when He does, we dislike the means?
is that what we really meant? were we really trusting Him with total control?
or was it, only use me in ways that i’m comfortable being used…

then i heard the voice of the Lord saying, “whom shall i send? and who will go for Us?” and i said, “here am i. send me!”
isaiah 6:8

i sit in the realization of how often i ask the Lord to use me, and how often i spurn the Lords discipline and training.

and you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
“my son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.”
hebrews 12:5-6

how often i question His purpose and plans. how can i know His word to be true and promises sure, and then not trust them?

every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
james 1:17

father you know that i love you… but how often i wander, how often i don’t place you utmost.

how easily we forget His faithfulness, how quickly we wallow in our present sufferings.

now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.
romans 8:17

may He continually remind us of who He is, may His grace and truth encounter us, and may He be our God and we His people.

we are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 cor 5:20

i plead for God to make us the kind of people who desire Him utmost, to kill in us what would prevent us from more of Him, to protect us from becoming caught up in all that would entangle and distract us from finding joy and fulfillment in enjoying Him solely and completely.

search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
see if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
psalm 139:23-24

God is Just.

the penalty of sin is death. sin is not just the bad things we do, but a condition we’re born with. so we’re all guilty. we’re all sinners. we have a disease that we can not cure.

and God is Just.

justice is receiving what you deserve. so we have a problem. if God is just, then we all deserve death. death being eternal separation from our greatest good, God.

so God is Just?

sacrifice. throughout the old testament sheep and goats were sacrificed for sin. the penalty had to be paid. but there’s still a problem, we continually sin. we are worship thieves, we worship creation over the creator. we disobey, we think are ways are better then His. we steal, we lie, we murder, we lust… we fall short.

Gods Justice

why do we try to separate the God of the old testament from the God of the new? has He changed?
from genesis to malachi we see the revealed character of God, I AM. God commands His people to destroy nations and kingdoms. He strikes down those who disobey Him. His people are killed, scattered, and their land ravaged.

God is Just and Merciful.

but don’t miss His mercy. we deserve punishment. our just punishment is to be destroyed, to be struck down, to be scattered, ravaged, and killed. we deserve death.

so God is Just and Merciful?

Mercy is not receiving what we deserve. Have we only read half the story? in genesis when adam and eve sinned, did God separate Himself from them eternally? no, but death would have been a just punishment. remember that sin deserves death, and anything short is mercy. the old testament is filled with testimony after testimony of Gods abundant mercy shown toward a stubborn, rebellious, and sinful people.

the culmination of His Justice and Mercy.

so how does a Just and Merciful God reconcile stubborn, rebellious, and sinful people? the new testament is the testimony of the perfect culmination of Justice and Mercy in the God-Man Jesus. the old testament was a foreshadow, of the One to come.

Justice and Mercy perfectly reconciled.

But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him,
and by His wounds we are healed.
isaiah 53:5

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
romans 4:25

our just God sent His son to ransom us, to bear our punishment, our shame, our guilt, and our sins. He did so to perfectly display His abundant mercy, and reconcile to Himself a people separated from Him.