THRIV3::{discipline.love.passion}

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dear beloved

there are those moments of clarity when things come into focus, and you just know.

you beg and plead for answers, to just understand… and He responds.

how many times do we ask and not listen? how many times have we cried out and assumed Him silent.

but in knowing, can we hold unswervingly to the Hope that we have? can we trust Him, completely and entirely…

we know Him trustworthy and yet tremble at His response.

have you ever been shook to the core, to the very fiber that holds you together?

praying fervently and unceasingly:

that you would know a love that surpasses understanding
that in Him you would find breath and life and every good thing
that you would lose your life to gain it

a dim reflection,
yours

the greatest tragedy (part one)

the LORD God said, “it is not good for man to be alone. i will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18

in perfection, it was not good for man to be alone. we find ourselves in a broken and fallen world, but Jesus came to redeem and restore. Scripture is Gods story of redemption. it’s testimony after testimony revealing the character of our Creator. the One who was, who is, and who’ll always be. we find ourselves caught up in His story. He beckons we stare at Him, stare at Jesus. to celebrate and imitate. only in Him will we find breath and life and every good thing.

marriage is a picture. it’s the closet representation we have of Christ and the church, His bride. how did something so beautiful become so perverted and tainted? why does marriage bring about thoughts of heavy bonds and burden? when did it become a second rate pursuit?

our generations greatest tragedy is the destruction of marriage.

for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

the very air we breath is poisoned, and this shouldn’t come as a surprise. we are ambassadors in a foreign land. we battle our sinful nature and the enemy. everything became fractured at the fall, beauty ruined.

so how do we redeem relationships? how do we restore the beauty of marriage?
we have to understand the purpose of marriage. we have to understand Gods intended roles for men and women.

do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.
romans 12:2

we exist to know Him and make Him known. He is our greatest good. the purpose of marriage is to bring glory to God. isn’t it funny how we’ve separated good from God? we constantly battle against believing that God wants to keep us from good. why can’t we have sex with whomever, whenever we want? why must commitment precede our emotional and physical desires? why must men love by sacrificing, and why must women love by submitting? how often we believe that we know better than God… the Creator of the universe! if we say it aloud, it’s comical. but that’s exactly how we live.

we were created for relationship. when Jesus prayed before He was taken to the cross, He desired for us to be one, as He is one with the Father. (John 17:20-22) Jesus is our model for perfect relationship. God the Son (Jesus) submits to God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit submits to the Son. they’re all equally God, but they each have distinct roles in the trinity. so too with us, male and female. we have equal value in the sight of God, both being created in His image, but we have distinct roles. God created us distinctly to serve the body, and these differences were given to bring Him glory.

the destruction of marriage began with the destruction of our distinct roles in relationship; the distinct roles modeled by Jesus, and laid out in scripture.

so what are our distinct roles?

God created man, and then He created women (from man) as a helpmate. He created adam, and then gave eve to adam to help adam attend to the directive God had given him. adams directive was two-fold; to govern and cultivate the earth. (Genesis 2:15) eve was given adams directive, in other words she was given to help adam accomplish his directive, she wasn’t given her own. adam and eve together were given the second directive, be fruitful and multiply. neither adam or eve could accomplish these directives apart from each other. from the beginning in perfection, men and women were compliments to each other with distinct roles. (Genesis 1:28)

Jesus added one more directive after His resurrection; to be His ambassadors. (Matthew 28:16-20)

men are called to be Christs ambassadors, govern and cultivate the earth, and be fruitful and multiply. women are called to be Christs ambassadors and to help/assist a man in accomplishing His directives.

God gives each man a unique task in the overall directive in which to accomplish. women are called to one man to assist/help accomplish this task. at some point we decided we didn’t like the roles God laid out for us, and began defining our roles as we pleased. we display by our words and actions that our ways are better then His. we lose sight of our distinct but equally valuable roles as men and women. lazy and idle men have relinquished their roles as leaders, and cultivators. while women have been deceived into believing that wife and mother are secondary pursuits.

our primary calling as men and women is to be Christs ambassadors, but God has given us, male and female, distinct roles to play in His story.

our primary role as men is to lead, cultivate, and multiply. women your primary role is to help/assist one man to lead, cultivate, and multiply.

for further study: Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

the tide ebbs and flows

oceans roar

seas of calm

tossed to and fro

gliding gently

going under

rising swiftly

lost at sea

safely ashore

suffocating

breathing deeply

awaiting death

enjoying life

take me under

lead me home

“i celebrate the day” - relient k

and with this Christmas wish is missed
the point i could convey

if only i could find the words to say to let You know how much You’ve touched my life
because here is where You’re finding me, in the exact same place as new year’s eve

and from a lack of my persistency
we’re less than half as close as i want to be

chorus:

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior

and the first breath that left Your lips
did You know that it would change this world forever

bridge:

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

in the hope that what You did
that you were born so i might really live

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

and so this Christmas i’ll compare the things i’ve felt in prior years
to what this midnight made so clear
that You have come to meet me here

and i, i celebrate the day
that You were born to die
so i could one day pray for You to save my life

pray for you to save my life

the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. we have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
Romans 4:25

we are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 Cor 5:20

whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
Matt 10:39

the dance begins
and dreams ensue

He loved
you received

He asked
you obeyed

He sustained
through want and plenty

but a new day beckoned
He led, you followed

you crossed his path
he crossed your path

he asked
you answered

he spoke, you listened
you spoke, he listened

He initiated, you reciprocated
He wooed, you drew near

you giggled, he laughed
he enjoyed, you delighted

he impassioned, you embodied
you shone, he radiated

He whispered, you listened
He led, you followed

you waited, he planed
you anticipated, he executed

pointing and reflecting
you reminded, he edified

he battled, you dreamed
you encouraged, he pursued

he asked, you trusted
you followed, he led

though each skirmish
step by step
dancing and dreaming

what causes fights and quarrels among you? don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? you want something but don’t get it. you kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. you quarrel and fight. you do not have, because you do not ask God. when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
james 4:1-3

so desire isn’t bad. to desire love, to desire acceptance, to desire value and worth. He wired us this way, we were designed to desire these things. but because we are broken, because we are sinners, we’ve tainted it.

“just as cars were made to run on gas, so we were made to run on Him”
cs lewis

we try to fulfill those desires with creation. when He is enough, He is sufficient. He designed us to be fully satisfied in delighting and enjoying Him forever.

idolatry is desire turned to demand

i understand this intellectually, but how often do i live this way? i begin finding my value and worth in their love and acceptance. an idol is born. i begin expecting encouragement and affirmation. i demand. i begin giving only to receive. i punish. i elevate my desire to need, when my only true need is Christ.

whom have i in heaven but you?
and earth has nothing i desire besides you.
my flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
psalm 73:25-26

may we rejoice that Hope has ransomed us, and that we idolaters are accounted our saviors righteousness.

and may we worship and delight in the One who is worthy, who holds all things together, and who offers life… that is truly life.

so i rarely journal…

but i needed to flesh out some things. i’ve been in this crazy place lately. it’s hard to put to words. maybe i’m just bad with words. it seems when i need them the most they fail me. when i’d like to express myself clearly, i’m the least clear. and yet i have these moments of pure brilliance. that sounded pretty prideful, i apologize. but seriously, like God has allowed me to be present to watch him work. and my heart swells to think that i want that for you. i want you to know Him and see Him, even if for brief glimpses of something indescribable. i desire to share that, to see people encounter and experience Him. i’ve been feeling discontent lately. i want more than this. and i don’t mean like empty. i mean like i feel like i settle for good. but He is great, He is creator King of the universe. am i limiting Him? like my little plans could compare to His? it’s just i’ve seen bad, i’ve seen ugly, i’ve seen horrible. like i’m negotiating with Him, and telling Him i’m okay with good… i just don’t want horrible. but He’s sitting there saying you can do good, but only i can do great. the holidays are hard. this whole single thing is beginning to weigh. like i could have something, but i don’t just want something, i want something beautiful … something that reflects who He is. so i pray for that. i pray for something beyond me, something only He can provide and is capable of.

i’ve tried to describe my life before, and always the best descriptive i have is i’m caught in the whirlwind that is God. not even sure if that’s really adequate, but it’s the closest i’ve got. but if i’m inviting someone to join me in it, i’d have to ask them if they’re ready for an adventure. He’s been so faithful in that prayer, and the invitation stands.

and so i await the next adventure… maybe the next chapter in the story. you get the picture.

how often do we ask Him to use us, and then when He does, we dislike the means?
is that what we really meant? were we really trusting Him with total control?
or was it, only use me in ways that i’m comfortable being used…

then i heard the voice of the Lord saying, “whom shall i send? and who will go for Us?” and i said, “here am i. send me!”
isaiah 6:8

i sit in the realization of how often i ask the Lord to use me, and how often i spurn the Lords discipline and training.

and you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
“my son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.”
hebrews 12:5-6

how often i question His purpose and plans. how can i know His word to be true and promises sure, and then not trust them?

every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
james 1:17

father you know that i love you… but how often i wander, how often i don’t place you utmost.

how easily we forget His faithfulness, how quickly we wallow in our present sufferings.

now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.
romans 8:17

may He continually remind us of who He is, may His grace and truth encounter us, and may He be our God and we His people.

we are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 cor 5:20

i plead for God to make us the kind of people who desire Him utmost, to kill in us what would prevent us from more of Him, to protect us from becoming caught up in all that would entangle and distract us from finding joy and fulfillment in enjoying Him solely and completely.

search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
see if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
psalm 139:23-24

God is Just.

the penalty of sin is death. sin is not just the bad things we do, but a condition we’re born with. so we’re all guilty. we’re all sinners. we have a disease that we can not cure.

and God is Just.

justice is receiving what you deserve. so we have a problem. if God is just, then we all deserve death. death being eternal separation from our greatest good, God.

so God is Just?

sacrifice. throughout the old testament sheep and goats were sacrificed for sin. the penalty had to be paid. but there’s still a problem, we continually sin. we are worship thieves, we worship creation over the creator. we disobey, we think are ways are better then His. we steal, we lie, we murder, we lust… we fall short.

Gods Justice

why do we try to separate the God of the old testament from the God of the new? has He changed?
from genesis to malachi we see the revealed character of God, I AM. God commands His people to destroy nations and kingdoms. He strikes down those who disobey Him. His people are killed, scattered, and their land ravaged.

God is Just and Merciful.

but don’t miss His mercy. we deserve punishment. our just punishment is to be destroyed, to be struck down, to be scattered, ravaged, and killed. we deserve death.

so God is Just and Merciful?

Mercy is not receiving what we deserve. Have we only read half the story? in genesis when adam and eve sinned, did God separate Himself from them eternally? no, but death would have been a just punishment. remember that sin deserves death, and anything short is mercy. the old testament is filled with testimony after testimony of Gods abundant mercy shown toward a stubborn, rebellious, and sinful people.

the culmination of His Justice and Mercy.

so how does a Just and Merciful God reconcile stubborn, rebellious, and sinful people? the new testament is the testimony of the perfect culmination of Justice and Mercy in the God-Man Jesus. the old testament was a foreshadow, of the One to come.

Justice and Mercy perfectly reconciled.

But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him,
and by His wounds we are healed.
isaiah 53:5

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
romans 4:25

our just God sent His son to ransom us, to bear our punishment, our shame, our guilt, and our sins. He did so to perfectly display His abundant mercy, and reconcile to Himself a people separated from Him.